Sleepless
by MADDIEdimkaDUCKY
Summary: Alex Rider is afraid to close his eyes. What will be the consequence. Involves K-unit


**Hi, this is my second fan-fic. To anyone who has read my other fan-fic A mission of a different kind, do not fret! IT IS NOT ABANDONED! I am just having a writer's block and any suggestions would be great. **

**I do not own Alex Rider but the plot is MINE!!!!!!!!**

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8 days. 8 days since they took Jack and I while we were sleeping. 8 days since I last saw the comfort of warmth, or a bed, or even edible food. It has been 2 days now…since they killed Jack. They kept us locked in a damp, musty cell, with little water and mush for food.

There was no bed, a small, disgusting toliet, and 4 concrete walls surrounding us. They only tortured me first. Tried to get answers about codes and other stuff involving MI6. Codes I didn't know. I tried telling them this, but they didn't listen. So they started on Jack, tortured her before my very eyes. They started with little things, electric shocks and small cuts along he arms, but it was still hard for her to endure, and unbearable to watch, and I still could not give them the codes.

So the then chopped her pinkies off, and her right index finger, and stabbing her in the arm..deep. I could hardly bear it. And when they realised she wasn't getting me to talk, they gave up on the idea. She was useless. And there was only one thing to do with someone who is uselss. Terminate them. And they did, right in front of me, using a device that forced my eyes open. I watched my best friend, my sister, and mother..die. And as she was dying, she stood strong, she told me she would miss me, and she would wait for me, she told me to keep going. That was the hardest thing of all. How could I keep going when she was gone.

I was sitting in my cell, weak physically and emotionally, when I heard the footsteps. Dreading another torture session, and drained of all energy mostly due to sleep deprivation, the door opened. It was the last thing I expected to see three burly men carrying guns barge through the door. First they ran over to Jack, where she was chained to the wall, for me to see every waking moment. Confirming there was nothing they could do, they came over to me. I recognised them immediately but I don't think they recognised me. Eagle, Snake and Wolf. I was covered in dirt and grime, concealing my identity.

"Young to be working for MI6 isn't he," Wolf said," kinda reminds me of Cub," Wolf said pacing about the room.

"Yeah, but you said Cub was a one-time thing," Eagle said.

"Well we should figure out who he is," Wolf said.

Snake began checking my pulse but I did not move, I remained leaning against the wall, looking at Jack, not taking my eyes off her like I had the last 2 days. They began asking me questions, like who I was.

"Alex Rider," I croaked out as another man came running into the room. When he heard my name he rushed over to me. Ben.

"Alex, Alex are you okay, look at me, oh my god, was that you're guardian," Ben asking shaking me to look away from the body and at him. But I couldn't, the lifeless face held my fascination, right until he said "was" you're guardian. I snapped.

"Yes, and once again..you were too late, and for once, someone got hurt," I said quietly still looking at Jack. Someone rolled me over and saw the burn and whip marks along my back.

My ribs were broken and I had cuts all over me. I was beaten and bruised and had taken some nasty bumps on my head. They cursed and picked me up gently and then we all ran out of the building. I could hear the sounds of shouting, and of gunfire, but I hardly registered it at all. I was drained, I was in the worst pain of my life, I was sleep derpived, and I was..alone. I knew we made it outside when I felt a breeze whip across my burn marks, soothing them slightly. I heard an ambulance pull up, but blacked out before we reached it.

*****

No-one wanted to look into my eyes. They were blank and staring. And they never closed. Why? Because I was scared to. I had been diagnosed with insomnia. I was scared of what I would see. Whether it be any of my previous missions or the face that I knew would haunt me forever. I was being sent to Brecon Beacons for my "protection" but I think it's because MI6 couldn't bear to look at me. Not even Blunt.

*****

Even though K-unit were the ones to rescue me, I didn't talk to them, I avoided looking at them or anything if I could. They, in turn, did not look or speak at me. No-one did. I was an empty shell, going through the motions everyday. I dodn't even know why I was trying anymore. Jack had told me to keep going, but it was so hard.

*****

Two days now. I had been at Brecon Beacons for two days now. In all that time I hadn't slept once. It was hard, sure, but I couldn't let myself fall asleep, either I would see Jack, the dead Jack, not the old Jack, the one I knew and loved, which petrified me, or I would dram about my previous missions, and would wake up screaming, covered in sweat and panting heavily.

It was night, and though I was trying, I was losing the battle. My body wanted so hard for me to go to sleep, but my mind wouldn't let me. Instead I was observing things around me. And by things I mean people. And by people I mean K-unit, which Ben for god knows why, had rejoined.

Ben was a light sleeper, I could tell, which was good in my line of work. If someone coughed, snored sneezed, moaned, cried, he would either startle himself awake and then fall asleep, move around almost arousing himself to sleep or wake up fully. The latter had only occurred once, because of my cries, but I concealed it before he realised what made the noise.

Eagle, in comparison, was probably the deepest sleeper I knew. Last night there was an emergency fire drill, and it took Ben and Snake to get him up and that was only by yelling..over the sound of the wailing siren.

Wolf and Snake were average so I never gave them much thought. Except when not only they, but all of them, got a contemplative look on their face when they were around me. It made me uncomfortable.

I felt myself slipping and forced myself to keep my eyes open. I would NOT fall asleep. I went over and rummaged through my bags looking for a torch and the novel I was currently readying. I slipped back onto my bunk and began reading.

_A rustling movement was the only warning I had to their presence. I was only just waking up when a sack was placed over my head. I heard a strangled scream from the other room and assumed this was happening to Jack to. No-one scares Jack. No-one. I was angry. I lashed out blindly at my captor but they were expecting it and easily avoided my blow. I heard something thump on the ground hard and the I was slapped into a wall. Dizzy I tried to get out of my captor's grasp. I couldn't concentrate though, and my movements were slow and clumsy like I was drunk. Then I heard"Alex..Alex…ALEX!!" and was startled awake._

I looked up to see K-unit leaning over me. It was light out and I was sweating profusely. I had fallen asleep against all attempts and had suffered for it.

"Cub..Alex…are you okay, you were thrashing around, it is time to get up okay kiddo," Ben said as he extended his arm to me which I grabbed as he hoisted me out of bed. Everyone started getting ready but I ignored them once more. They walked out of the door in silence and I followed stonily a few metres behind them.

I ate in silence by myself once more and wished I wasn't so tired. My eyes kept drooping and I saw people looking at the horribly obvious bags under my eyes, but I paid them no heed. Instead I concentrated on eating my food without falling asleep.

I was also considering ways out of this horrible life. I knew it would be easy to go down to the shooting range, grab a gun. I knew I would have no difficutly in pulling the trigger. It would be easy to sneak into the woods so no-one could stop me. There was only one problem with the plan. Jack. Her dying wish was for me to live on, to forget her and be a normal happy boy again. How could I betry her by killing myself. I was still pondering this as I trained today.

*****

It was raining, no pouring as I trudged back to the cabin. Training had been absolutely horrible today and I was exhausted to the point of wishing for a bed to sleep in. But as much as the thought brought warmth to me, it also penetrated me with an icy harshness. Would I ever be able to sleep again?

_Blackness. All there was blackness. I was alone. So alone. I had no-one. Everyone I had ever loved was gone. I felt sick to the stomach._

I hadn't been dreaming about the sick feeling. I jumped off the floor where I had fallen asleep on long after K-unit went to bed and dashed to the bathroom where I leaned over the toilet and spewed the pitiful amount of food I had consumed that day. And with the thought of food I was again leaned over the toilet and spewed. I was sweating now and shivering at the same time and hardly registered when someone came over to me. I was lying on the floor and they rolled me over and swore. Next thing I knew I was surrounded by four other people and feeling claustriphobic. He tried to stand up and push past him but someone wrapped their arms around his torso to stop him from leaving. He kicked and scrambled but that only succeeded in irritating his stomach and he ended up spewing all over the person holding him. After that everything was a blur of diving to the toilet and trying to get free of the enclosed space.

*****

When he woke up, K-unit had already left for breakfast. After the first wave of nightmares that had led me to be sick, I had no more nightmares that night, which was a relief. But I was so sick of them and the consequences they brought, such as getting sick, that I vowed never to sleep again. I knew it would probably kill me but all that mattered was not having to see the things that haunted me. I was not able to face them anymore. Once Jack had helped me, now, she was gone.

I was brought out of these thoughts by the sound of a door slamming and voices talking to eachother. I was lying on my side facing the wall so they were unable to see I was awake.

"Do you know why he was sick last night," Eagle asked quietly so as not to "wake" Alex.

"Um..well I think it has something to do with his missions and of course..how we found him when we rescued him," Ben began, " I'm not supposed to talk about this but he has been on more missions than any other agent this past year and has had a 100% success rate. With Jones and Blunt for bossess who knows what situations he has been put in, must be traumatising," Ben finished.

"I agree, if it was a normal sickness he would have shown other symptoms before he was actually sick," Snake said.

"It isn't our business, he isn't our business," Wolf said.

Someone came over and shook me. I rolled over slowly pretending to have just been woken up and came face to face with Ben.

"Hey Cub…it's time to get up, you missed breakfast but after last night you probably aren't in the eating mood," Ben said as I began getting dressed.

As the days went by I got more and more exhausted. I had not slept in 3 days, though I was fooling K-unit into thinking I had. The last thing I needed was tovreport it and send me of to some councilor.

It was lunchtime but I wasn't hungry. I decided to go sit on the pier by the man-made lake. I was exhausted and just wanted to rest so I sat there listening to the sounds around me. I could feel myself getting tireder every second I was awake but I was now petrified of going to sleep. I started shaking and this is when I first got scared, not just of sleeping but of what will happen if I didn't.

I started to slowly get up, hoping to get to the bunk's easily enough and lie die without actually sleeping. With my luck, it wasn't that simple. I looked up as I stood and saw a figure on top of the hill waving frantically at me. I began swaying uncontrolably as well as my shaking and the person on the hill began runnin towards me. I took a shaky involuntary step backwards and my foot hit air. I fell backwards off the pier and slammed into the black depths of the water without the strength to struggle.

So I closed my eyes and let the water take me.

*****

BEN POV

It was lunchtime and I was getting worried, Cub had still not shown up. He was doing that a lot lately. Skipping meals. He was also falling behind in training and gazing into space during lessons and lectures. Something was up with him and he was determined to find out what.

"Guys I am just gonna see if I can find Alex okay," Ben said the the rest of his unit after he finished his meal. They grunted in reply and he stood up and dumped his tray on his way out.

He decided to start looking for him at the lake as he had seen him sitting there alone before. He climbed the hill that was next to the hill so as to get a better view of the lake. He looked out over the peer.

He grew worried at the sight he saw. It looked like he was shaking badly and attempting to stand up but wasn't doing too good a job of it. Suddenly he started swaying and I knew if I didn't get to him something bad was going to happen.

As I was running down the hill I saw him lose his balance and fall backwards off the pier. He didn't resurface. I sprinted faster than I ever had before and dove into the freezing water of the lake, desperately trying to find him before it was too late.

I tried opening my eyes underwater but all I saw was a murky green. I came up for air and swam back under desperately searching for him. I did this a few more times and was about to give up when I spotted something white instead of the green I was swimming in.

I dove down quickly, hoping, praying I wasn't too late. Once I got close I knew it was Cub. I wrapped my arms around him and dragged him to the surface. I cupped his head and swam to the shore where I began calling for help.

I then began to check Cub for any signs of life, still calling for help. He wasn't breathing. I began performing CPR but it was too late. I was too late. He was dead.

I then wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me, cradling him as I began to cry. People started gathering around me but I paid no attention to them. All I could think was why him. He didn't deserve this. He should have lived. His eyes were lifeless and empty, and so was he, an empty shell. An empty shell of a once happy and carefree boy.

*****

K-unit were sitting in their bunks. No-one talked. No-one moved. We just sat there in silence, not looking at eachother, not looking at anything. They had been told that Cub had not slept in over two days. That was what caused him to start shaking and lose his balance and fall into the lake. Exhaustion. Cub died from exhaustion. And all k-unit could think was why hadn't they seen it. They could have told someone and he could have been helped, even if it meant being put to sleep. It would have meant he was alive right now.

"It's our fault," Eagle said suddenly.

"We should have seen it, you all saw he was tired, why didn't we do something about it," Snake said. Wolf merely grunted.

"I should have been faster, it's my faullt, its all my fault, I was thinking about adopting him you know. I though mabe I could help him get through this. He knows me and I thought if I was there for him things wouldn't be so bad. Now I will never have the chance," Ben said his voice breaking as he spoke.

Then the fur burly SAS soldiers bent their heads and cried, cried fot their teammate, their friend, and their Cub, whom they'd do anything to protect. They cried for his stolen innocence, for the horrors he had been through, and they cried because they missed him. Alex Rider was someone special to them, and their loss was something no-one, not even themselves could comprehend. He was gone forever.

**Okay, well that was depressing. I have a friend who suffers insomnia and so Alex (yes I know freaky coincidence) this was for you. I would hate for anything like this to happen to you and you should know you can come to me at any time.**

**Please review and tell what you think. No flames please, I am not forcing you to read it.**

**Love Mad**


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